We vs. I

Simple changes to the language used by a team can result in a range of benefits.

For humans, the most powerful tool for expressing ourselves is language.

Whether verbal or a more universal choice, most of us make use of language hundreds of times a day.

From an early age we understand that the language we choose can affect how those around us respond to what we say. We can use it to manipulate situations and share our mood, needs and desires.

Language is complex.

A long way from the basic demands we shout as a child, learning the power of sarcasm and body language, allows the ways in which a verbal communications can be interpreted, to grow exponentially.

A single word can wholly alter how all the words which came before it, and that follow it are perceived.

“We are always in the process of judging others in terms of their abilities
and their intentions towards us — and we base those judgments in large part on the way people talk.” — Professor Deborah Tannen

Language is immutable. Meaning that once spoken or shared, you cannot change the words you’ve used, or how you’ve used them. If you act quickly, you can offer a clarification, or in extreme situations an apology.

But the original will remain with those who heard it.

Language can harm. It can be used as a weapon. Belittling, confusing or even upsetting those you share it with or aim it at.

And yet language can lead to popularity, trust, love or even reverence.

To master language and learn how to control it is to unlock opportunities and potential.

So given the impact that all of our language choices have, why focus on the seemingly simple choice between ‘we’ and ‘I’?

My work coaching individuals and supporting team productivity has led to the impact of using ‘we’ or ‘I’ becoming a recurring topic of discussion.

What might seem simple at first glance is undoubtably having a damaging effect on the productivity and well-being of teams everywhere.

Where teams work closely together to create value, they are encouraged to support each other and work in ways which make the most of the abilities of the individuals within those teams. Their aim is to create maximum value using the skills available.

Even where hierarchy exists, the output of their time together is a true team effort.

To put it plainly there is no place for ‘I’ when talking of the successes of a team. ‘I’ is about ownership, making a claim, a land grab, stating that something is yours and yours alone. In a team success that’s rarely the case.

“The use of first-person singular has been associated with a self-focus, whereas the use of first-person plural is generally associated with more of a group identity” — James Pennebaker

It can be tempting as a spokesperson to use ‘I’ when talking about the output of a team that you lead. But this risks a negative impact on those you work with while not resulting in any benefit to you beyond a perceived positive light being shone upon the part you played.

If you are taking part in something detached and purely self focused such as a job interview then by all means claim your part in the success. But if you are looking to inspire, build trust and encourage the best from those you’re working with then it’s ‘we’ all the way.

Although using ‘we’ is important for all members of a team, thinking and speaking in terms of ‘we’ is a central theme of servant leadership.

“The servant-leader is a servant first. It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. A servant-leader focuses primarily on the growth and well-being of people and the communities to which they belong” – Robert K. Greenleaf

When it comes to achievement, servant leaders let the successes of those around them speak on their behalf. Servant leaders know their role is not to claim rewards for great outcomes but instead to facilitate them.

Servant leaders know their role is not to claim rewards for great outcomes but instead to facilitate them.

True servant leaders don’t use ‘I’ unless they are protecting their team, taking responsibility for failings, or personally accepting to complete a task. Servant leadership builds trust, both in you as a leader but also in your organisation.

“Organizations perceived as servant‐led exhibited higher levels of both leader trust and organizational trust than organizations perceived as non‐servant‐led.” — Errol E. Joseph, 2005

Additionally, actively working to switch your language from ‘I’ to ‘we’ can help shift your own perspective from self-focused to focusing on those around you. It can make you more aware of their needs, both making you a better leader and improving their output.

Overuse of ‘I’ by leaders has been shown to have some serious side effects for teams.

It masks the accomplishments of others. Often the work others do in a team situation enables the more noticeable rewarded outcome to be achieved.

A culture where selfishness is seen as a legitimate way of earning recognition and reward can be created if it’s seen to be beneficial to be selfish rather than selfless.

The morale of the whole team can be impacted. Knowing they may receive little or no kudos for their efforts, they simple stop putting the effort in.

So moving to inclusive language choices like ‘we’ and ‘us’ in place of ‘I’ and ‘me’ can result in teams who feel empowered and rewarded, leading to a measurable increase in output and moral.

This higher productivity and increased well-being makes those teams and businesses more appealing places to work. This in turn reduces the rate at which people leave, simply to find somewhere that their contribution is rewarded.

The effort involved is small and the impact large. A change of language by those individuals that teams look up to in the business, can be enough to cement it into the culture. It becomes the norm for the current team and those who join them in the future.